I've been enjoying my relationship with Jonathan thus far.
It's been full of honesty and has torn down walls I never knew I had up. It's funny how God can do that to ya. Though I've liked the kid forever, I also wrestled with God upon many things before it even came together. Now I'm beginning to see a little bit more, and I'm hopeful for the rest.
Now when it comes to relationships, I'm fairly easy.
-Don't spend a lot of money on me regardless if you have the funds or not (I'll get angry.)
-Don't take me to really fancy restaurants unless it's a super special occasion (such as birthday, 1 year anniversary, I'd count Christmas or New Years as well).
-Talk to me about deep theological things, not about immature childish stuff. I'd rather talk about philosophy than the subject of poop.
-As long as I'm by your side, we can sit in silence and it's not uncomfortable...I like embracing the environment when we're sometimes too busy yapping...reminds me of the famous $5 milkshake scene from Pulp Fiction.
-I don't like watching movies unless it's going to fancy my interest. I don't like technology all that much besides using it for work. I like nature. Night + Beach = perfection...and occasionally loitering.
Jonathan knows these things and has been working on trying to entertain me a bit more. On our two month, the night ended with him doing his homework while I just sat next to him scrolling through HM magazines (super romantic right?)
Now if you haven't heard of this read, it is a great one for you rockers. HM is a magazine dedicated to emerging and old christian metal/rock artist. It has interviews, ads, and great ideological articles. There was a quote from this one guy that stuck with me for the rest of the week. It said something like this " the more we try to know God the more we realize we know nothing."
So simple yet so profound and I love that it was said by this huge burly tattooed scruffy metal singing man.
Maybe for some it's true, others not. But it hit me hard. I often feel like in experiences where I have felt the Spirit and I have seen the Lord work in crazy ways, I am only touching the BARE SURFACE of the divinity and grandeur that lies behind it. I have no idea how the people who have had crazy supernatural things happen to them must feel when it comes to this.
The quote made me think: What if we're searching too heavy for God? Now is that a bad thing? Not necessarily...but what if we're searching so much that we are passing the things that do bring us closer to God?
I guess there are several different ways you can look at it whether it'd be through idolatry, vanity, filling the empty voids with nonsense.
For me I've been fighting the depression of not living in Orlando, often trying to get the bitterness to die so I can live. I've wrestled with God so much that I have been missing what He is teaching me and trying to prepare me for. It took being in pain for 2 days and in the house for 4 for me to realize what God has been doing to me. I have no idea if I'll stay here or if I'll be back in Orlando come spring. who knows, maybe I'll go to Guatemala or Haiti for a short while? Or maybe I wont live to see that day, regardless, God is preparing us now for what is next and I forget that so much. I feel like it's something I should have post-it noted everywhere I go.
Back to the quote...it made me really think about "Christianity". I put this in quotes because it is common religious terminology and I want to discuss it and break it down over the next couple of writings. What does this word really mean to us as individuals and to our culture today? I think this is sooo important to discuss because we are living in an age where religion is growing rapid, though it may not be after Jesus.
There is a problem with this.
I feel as humans we're lost, misguided, often blind searching for anything that makes us feel
connected. I came across Isaiah 59:9-11 and it just hit me in relation to how our society sees today. I've been polluted with thoughts on this for the last two weeks and I feel like this is something I should share and touch on.
Now I do not have the answers. Our culture does not have the answers. God does, and scripture is like our seeing eye-dog, giving us a hand every so often. I write these things with the intent of challenging and changing the christian perspective.
I'll use quotes from the following (if you ever have a chance to read these, please do:)
Mere Christianity - C.S.Lewis
The Divine Conspiracy - Dallas Willard
Velvet Elvis- Rob Bell
The Shaping of Things to Come- Michael Frost and Alan Hirsch
With that I'll preface all with this:
-Everything is permissible, but not beneficial.
-Test every action.
-feel free to agree to disagree.