Loosing what I had to give.

This semester has been absolutely brutal.

I had quit my job, thus hindering my personal ministry.
I've been dealing with a broken relationship of 3 solid years.
I have a puppy thats essentially like having a toddler. no joke.
Fundraising and Training for tour.
And 3 design classes with several freelance jobs on the side <---massive time sucker

Nothing extremely bad has happened, thank the Lord!
it's just been overwhelming.

So overwhelming that I've managed to kill myself in the process. (Not in a physical sense of course, otherwise I wouldn't be typing this).

I've allowed busyness and emotions take over my being rather than fully allowing the Spirit of God to do so. You may think elsewise, but it's a matter of heart.

My heart literally aches everyday. I cry more often that usual. It's not because I'm weak, it's because I realize how much more God needs to be in my life than I allow him to be. I realize that God has designed to use me for His Kingdom in ways that I do not even know.

And it's so sad to watch the injustice that goes on around us and to think that there are so many of us who have yet to live up to our potential...the potential we don't know we have because the world around us gives us no hope to pursue it.

God is among us.
He is Love.
He is Hope.
He is Everything.
You have a purpose.

....It's 4:40am. I really should be sleeping and not spewing out all that's burying me deep.
I'll share much more in chapters to come.

Love you all.